Wednesday, 20 March 2013

Parents Should Learn to Play a Positive Role in Shaping the Married Life of their Daughter

The last two decades have brought in a series of changes in the mindset of the people, family living, social status, marriage and more. The education and economic conditions have made most of the Indian families to opt for a single child or at the most a two child norm.

Such nuclear families, especially those with a single daughter will always stay very closely knitted. The parents who were able to bear the separation of their daughter on education and employment grounds, finds it more difficult to undergo the permanent separation after the marriage. They suffer the pain of separation and mental distress. To avoid such a separation, some of them even go to the extent to marry their daughter in their own cities or close by places to enable visiting her regularly.

Most of the current day husbands, who also hail from such nuclear single child families understand the plight of their in-laws and let their regular visits to see their daughter. The parents’ visits are tolerated as long as they don’t eat up the privacy between the couple. The problem starts when such parents expect their daughter to reciprocate their visits. Some of the parents while taking advantage of their visits will overzealously try to poke their nose into the family affairs of their daughter. In a nutshell they unintentionally and unknowingly will prevent their daughter from smoothly transitioning into her new role as a wife.

Such parents must understand that their continued dominance will prevent their daughter from starting her own family life with her own set of priorities. They must allow their daughter to spend quality time with her husband and her in-laws. They must guide her to understand the need to develop a good rapport with all the members of her husband’s family. If their daughter is employed, they must teach her how to efficiently manage her family and work with effective apportioning of time. They must appreciate her efforts to have quality weekends with her husband and in-laws instead of missing her absence at their home.

They must play a supportive role with their daughter in her passage from their only daughter to an efficient house wife and in turn a proud mother. They must learn to understand that the separation has created a new bondage and new relationships. They must try to nurture the new relationship and offer a positive role in the family creating efforts of their daughter.